As Fathers Day quickly approaches, I begin to feel a little saddened. After all of these years that you haven’t been around I feel as though I am mourning your death even though I know you are only a short distance away. When you and mom decided that you no longer loved eachother, you made it loud and clear that you didn’t love me anymore either. You chose to adopt me on your own free will, to be my daddy, be my protector and my hero. That little paper that the judge handed you to sign 32 years ago, wasn’t something that you could just wake up and decide you didn’t want to be a dad years later. That was a commitment that you chose to uphold for the rest of your life. You did give me a good childhood, made my mother and me happy. But somewhere in the middle; something fell apart. You forgot about me, you forgot to love me! You didn’t remember that I was your daughter too, you started treating me like the “other kid” “your wifes daughter” and “your stepdaughter” but never your BABY GIRL.
Since your divorce when you just decided that you were done raising me; that 25 years was enough years with me you have missed the most important parts of your life. I married the love of my life a year later and sadly you weren’t there to walk me down the isle, none of your family was there. That was yes, the happiest day of my life but having to decide that my grandpas were to walk me down the isle instead of my dad because he didn’t love me anymore was upsetting. But then a miracle happened and 5 months later I got pregnant! Guess what, I called you all excited telling you the day we found out he was a boy giving you a chance to be in his life, even if you didn’t want to be in mine to still be a grandpa. You passed that chance up, how could you!? Then 3 years later I got pregnant with our daughter and I didn’t even bother to tell you because I couldn’t endure another heartbreak of you telling me you weren’t interested in them still. My kids are great and you are missing out on having a second chance at being a better person. Giving your grandbabies more of the love that you couldn’t give to me over the last 30 years but you are choosing to turn your back and act like none of us exist. I know that you are seeing someone and I am so curious to know what lies you tell her about us. I am so proud of everything that I have grown to accomplish in my life even if it isn’t what you have expected me to set out to do. Even though you haven’t been in my life, my husband has filled that void with the love that you have neglected to give me. Maybe some day you will want to know your daughter and grandbabies- I just hope that when that time comes it isn’t too late.
Your Loving Daughter